Friday Fill-In

Here's something new I found by way of Libby!

Have a great weekend!


1. There is absolutely NO way you can get me to wear short shorts!
2. Hurricane Tracking Maps at Publix reminds me that summer is almost here!
3. I cannot live without my laptop or crackberry.
4. _____ and _____ are two things I'd like to try. ( I can't figure out what I want to try)
5. When life hands you lemons make a lemon-meringue pie.
6. Baking cakes with my stepmom is my favorite childhood memory.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a rehearsal dinner, tomorrow my plans include going to a wedding and Sunday, I want to relax by the beach and then gamble a bit!

Guess what!?!?!

I weighed myself and the scale read 114lbs!!!! WHAT A GREAT DAY!! I mean, being 5-11, that makes ME supermodel material right?? Where's Whilemina, Ford, etc.? I need to call them and sign up for the older women division!!!

Oh.

Does it matter the scale was on the carpet instead of the floor? Who cares!? What a great way to feel skinny!! TRY IT!

While I wasn't looking...

a boy HIT on my kid...the problem is...She's ONLY EIGHT!! AND she's MY kid!!! Can you freaking believe it!?

When I realized what was happening, my face just went numb, I saw my daughter turn her head and try to explain to this boy (who was actually kinda cute in an awkward way and I would say he was like 11 or 12) how she knows the words to some song from Aerosmith (Guitar Hero). And then they were talking while I quietly observed. And it was not planned on my part, I just froze. I really wanted to I don't know, spit on my hands and try to clean the peanut butter stain off her cheek, do something really embarassing but I couldn't. I saw it happening and in my head everything was in slow motion and I was screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. For all I know he knows our number. Thank God the line moved and we got separated. The boy said bye and asked ME what ride would we do next I said we were going to go to dinner kinda far away (really that came out) and then he asked me again where we lived. (Yeah like I was going to tell the psycho were we lived). JR looked at me with THAT look which said 'wait a minute, I can't lie and now you're lying!' and I just pushed her along to get on the left side of the line.

We later discussed as to why the white lie and I tried my best to say for all we knew he could be a serial killer...but much nicer of course.

I'm sure this is what she looked like to him:


But in reality, this is what she still loves (thank GOD!):


Goodness gracious! What's next?
You all have a great weekend- we're off to Puerto Rico tomorrow for a big, fancy wedding and I have yet to clean, pack and get my stuff together. How fun! Woo hoo!

Birthday Round-Up

Well, my birthday went on without a glitch. It was wonderful. Mr. K was amazing- he made a big deal of my birthday and was just like a kid. Baby J was also cute- made me this huge card and then gave me some very cool perfumes that have been on my list for a while. It was so cute. I woke up and was told to head to the spa and be there by 9am. Mr. took J to school- that was a treat in itself.

I had an awesome facial (turned down a massage because I had 100 things to do related to this stupid bathroom remodel project), awesome dinner, and awesome time with my kid picking out light fixtures (life does go on and I need my bathroom back PRONTO).

Mr. has figured out that I LOVE nothing more than shopping on my own, solo, without him or kids in tow, so I got some moohla to go shopping and spent my entire day until it was time to pick up my girl, at the mall. I shopped at JCrew, Banana, Limited and Sephora. I couldn't believe how fast I burned through my gift certificate 'cause usually, when I have money to spend, I can't find a thing but yesterday was a different bowl o' wax. Great sales, great buys (bought 4 pairs of bermuda shorts, 8 tops, 1 dress, and the entire facial line from Caudalie; a French line entirely organic and according to my facial lady, the best thing for your face because it has no mineral oils. You see, I bought the Shiseido sunscreen for the face thinking well, it HAS to be good right? No. Apparently you cannot sweat when you wear this because my entire forehead broke out (I wear a hat when I play tennis) like I never have before. Apparently it has some mineral oil which blocks the pores hence the breakouts- and I because I've only had this sporadic 'condition' since I gave birth (thanks Kid), I'm still kinda new at this and learning as I go along.

The only disappointment which was really no big deal was that I made a huge hoopla out of getting these cupcakes from this local place that opened up. It was a shitload of money for 2 dozen cupcakes which was the minimum order for a 'special' order (shitload being $49).

They looked cute but honestly I could have done the same thing. The disappointment was when I took a bite- it tasted EXACTLY like the .99 box mix from the grocery store. I was buying into the idea of them being a special cupcake when they just tasted blah. Generic. Nothing special. It was a bummer only because I have been saving my sweet tooth indulgence until yesterday and looking forward to eating some cake and then blah. I LOVE cake. LOVE LOVE LOVE it so I decided last night to start working on my family recipe cake- and make all cakes for us, friends and family from now on (as long as they let me). I've made it a few times and the last time I made them, everyone wanted to know how they were made- the recipe is THAT good. I just have to take cake decorating classes because for some reason I can't work that frosting thing too well and the cakes end up looking like a 5 year old decorated them.

So my disappointment turned into a new ambition (hopefully one that will stick). Can't wait to figure out if I can decorate a cupcake or not- you will soon find out.



PS- And Sarah, as I've already told you- I hope your mom comes through this with flying colors. And anyone out there, if you believe on anything please pray for Sarah and her mom who are going through a rough time right now. :(

I'm the 'Torturizer'

or so says my daughter. Here's what happened:

Friday as you know, I was on crack and had volunteered to a short stint in Hellando also known as Orlando. We were going to Universal Studios Friday afternoon/evening and then Disney Saturday morning (we have year passes which is proof I've been on crack more than once).

In the morning, she had her playdate- the kid would NOT shut up but whatever, it was over and just in time because my head was about to pop. I'm driving and J is whining about this, whining about that, just pissing me off and apparently the crack was wearing off. When I finally snapped and responded to one of her whiny comments: 'well it won't matter anymore since I turned around a while back and we'll be home in 20 minutes'. Then it was Niagara Falls. "Mommy I'm sorry, I'm sorry for what I did this morning".

Me: Oh really? Well tell me what you did
JR: well I didn't follow your rules and took a lollipop to my room (MAJOR offense in my household because I'm anal retentive that way)
Me: a-ha...what else did you do? I know you did something else
JR: (bawling) Oh mom, I'm so sorry, but I hid some dirty clothes under the bed! I'm SO SO SORRY!!
Me: yup- and let me know what that got you now
JR: OH MOM I PINKY swear I will NEVER do that again! PROMISE!!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! (and please picture major drama here, worthy of an oscar and me looking away because I just can't keep a straight face)

When suddenly we pass a sign that says: "Universal Studios 2 miles"

The tears stopped faster than you could say 'gotcha'. She turns to me and says 'HEY! You've been TRICKING ME!' We're here! We're here!!' and then she starts laughing and holding my hand and of course all the love is back.

A few minutes later, she says to me:

"Mom that wasn't very nice...I understand I was being bratty, but you went on with the trickery for too long. Next time please don't go on for so long, my feelings were hurt. You're a torturizer."

Yup that I am! :)

Part 2 of our 'adventure' coming up soon- I'm still trying to get over it.

I must be on crack

Oh I dunno...why did I volunteer to host a playdate with one of JR's friend- the one who needs to go on Ritalin. And my house is a mess because oh yeah, I have NO bathrooms. Do you know how bad it is to have to hold it in because you're so freaking lazy you don't want to go up the stairs to pee? One bathroom + 3 people = one angry mom.

And to top it all off, I volunteered to take JR to Disney tomorrow afternoon, after we drop off Ms. Ritalin at her house, we will begin our drive, go to a park, our hotel and then do the park thing again tomorrow and drive back. I volunteered to do this when I was PMSing because I was being such a raging bitch, I felt bad. I must be losing it because WHY DO I WANT TO DO THAT when there are 20 other things that need to be done at my house?

And now I am thinking that being a raging bitch sometimes comes with the territory and maybe, just maybe, my kid needs to learn to adjust to my mood swings without equating a mood swing with a reward at the end. The only one who wins here is Mr. because he gets some much coveted 'quiet' time. It's my 'birthday weekend'!!! I want the quiet time damn it.

Somehow, I screwed this one up- I don't get the quiet time, I end up with more kids than I'm used to, I have no bathrooms, my house is a huge giant, dust bunny in need of a good cleaning (my maid has kidney stones- GREAT timing for me! yay!), and oh yeah, I get to sleep on the couch because it's so dusty in the master bedroom, I just can't bear to breathe in there without going into an allergy fit.

This is going to be a great weekend!

A Husband Classic

As we're walking around Publix yesterday, Mr. and I were just shooting the breeze when he suddenly says:

" Lawrence asked me to dinner but I'm not going to go- don't feel like it- I told him I was going to dinner with you"

Me: (thinking this is my way out of cooking for the night and I really didn't feel like going out either) "Oh well what do you mean? You asking permission? You haven't gone to dinner in a while with him - you sure? you don't need to ask permission by the way"

Mr: 'nah, nah, I mean I really don't feel like it- it's not like I can't go out with him. I can do whatever I want...he knows it. I can go to dinner with any of my friends any time, I just don't feel like it. I mean, I don't need to ask permission and can go whenever I want as long as I tell you......right honey?'

Me: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Mr: 'whot? whot did I say?'

I think he's trained.

Ps- I did go for a swim. It kicked my ass.